Twinkle Twinkle

Now, while it seems a little cruel to post this ADORABLE video right after the news about Asher.  I feel that it is really important for us to be normal, to remember that nothing is in our hands, and to post fantastic videos for the grandparents and aunts and uncles who miss these "fresh berries" very much!

Asher

Still on a FB fast, but I feel like this is some info that you would all like to have, so I am blogging about it and then sharing on FB, technically still not spending time on FB :) 
We have an answer for Asher's headaches... Chiari 1 Malformation.  In a nutshell the back part of his brain doesn't quite fit in his skull.  This can be very serious or every livable depending on the length of the brain that is exposed, we don't have that answer yet because we are going to need to see a neurosurgeon to get the majority of our answers.  You can read more about Chiari 1 here...

http://www.conquerpediatricchiari.org/
http://www.conquerchiari.org/index.htm
http://www.relieve-migraine-headache.com/chiari-1-malformation.html
 
This is a pretty rare disease only .1% of American's are affected, and amazingly enough here in small town USA I know 2 others.  Isn't God awesome?  I have become fast friends with a girl here who came from Charleston a few months ago, we have a ton of things in common,  including good friends, and when she heard about Asher's headaches she told me about her disease, Chiari 1.  She had suffered since she can remember with the symptoms of this and was only diagnosed a few years ago, thank you God that we didn't have to wait years for a diagnosis.  The minute I got off of the phone with our doctor I called her, I feel such peace now having an adult who can tell me what Asher is going through, how to best help him, and share with me all that she has learned.  (E, you are awesome and I am so thankful for you!).  Then we called our pastor for some prayer and as it turns out her grandson (also named Asher) has the same malformation!  So we prayed together and shared information on doctors and symptoms.  J is in the process of putting together a binder of information (If you know him you are giggling to yourself because J has a binder for EVERYTHING) and he is planning on making a few to share with those who we have been bonded together with in this war against Chiari.  If you are curious Asher's symptoms are as follows...
Severe and sudden headaches
Loss of balance
Sleep Apnea
Raspy Voice
and these are the ones that are obvious or he can communicate, my friend E has said that often her hands and feet go numb for no reason and she will have cloudy periods of time where she feels like she is living under a blanket, or in a stupor.  I think that I refer to these times with Asher as his "witching hour" when he whines or cries for no apparent reason and only wants to be held and comforted.
SO, we have an answer as to the what, now we need to find the answers as to the fix.  I will keep you all posted.  Thank you for your love and prayers during this time, I can feel them and I have a wonderful sense of peace that I know could only come from God.  I love and appreciate you all.

Let's See...

What is new with the "Freshberry" Family?  Well we still have not heard the results of Asher's MRI.  Which is partly good because that means its nothing major, and partly annoying because my son is still having headaches.  Here is a pic of our brave supermen after the MRI eating "birthday cake" Asher's most favorite treat.

New Years Day we took the kids to see "Tangled" at the "big" movie theater in the city, let them play in the little mall play area (WAY outside of this mom's germ comfort zone), and went to Red Lobster for dinner.  I think we should go to Red Lobster for every dinner now because the boys LOVED it!!  They especially loved looking at the "mobsters" in the tank and when J ordered crab legs for dinner they were obsessed with the claws. 

Gross and Cute at the same time! (well maybe just gross)

Iz is getting bigger every day, she sits up on her own now AND more importantly i put her hair up in her first ponytail.

DJ got a big boy hair cut, he calls it his daddy hair.  When he woke up the morning after getting it cut he said, "look Mama I still have my Daddy hair!"

And finally the most hilarious conversation took place the other night and I have to write it down so we don't forget...

DJ:  "Ash, you want a piece of me?" (like a big tough guy)

Asher: "Nope"

DJ: "AAAAASH!  I said, you want a piece of me?!"

Asher: "Yes, I have a DJ piece"

DJ: "Like Birthday Cake?"

BWAHHAHAH, I know it doesn't come across in written form as hilarious as it was in person, but I am glad I have it written down now, so at least I can remember how stinkin funny it was!

J and I are taking part in our churches 21 day fast this month, starting the year out in prayer and reflection leaving ourselves open to what God wants to do in us and through us this year.  Since I am nursing I can't actually fast food so I am fasting FB.  It has been rather refreshing.  My New Years resolution was to read the whole Bible this year and I am doing it chronologically, so now in the morning over coffee I read the Bible instead of FB and it sets a much better tone for my day.  J is fasting milk which if any of you know him you know that is a super big deal for him.  The other day I caught him eating cereal and I thought he was busted, then it turned out he was eating it with water, ummm yuck, but what ever you got to do I guess.  J told me that no milk feels like he has a big hole in his stomach he can't fill, but that is where God comes in, He fills the big holes in our life. 

I have been painting and sewing and generally creating a ton lately so hopefully in my next post I can share some of that.

The picture that summs up life

I LOVE LOVE LOVE this picture!  Iz and her crazy morning hair, Asher with Syrup on his face and a dino in his hand, and DJ in a rare moment when he will smile for the camera.  Perfection

The MRI

Taking Asher in for an MRI in the morning, we have to leave the house at 4:45am.  This is actually a blessing because he will sleep the 2 hour drive there, and then we will be in the hospital so his mind will not be focused on the fact he is not getting breakfast.  We went a week ago for this MRI and they tried to put him to sleep using an IV, they poked (more like stabbed) him 5 times before I said enough and picked my baby up and got out of there.  By the time we left, Asher was hysterical, I was bawling, and I am pretty sure I saw a nurse crying too.  This MRI, where the sedation will now be given in the form of gas, is to determine the cause of Asher's "headaches." For the past 6 or so months Asher grabs his head and tells me "owie head, mama," it occasionally brings him to tears and causes him to loose his balance.  I wonder how long he has been suffering headaches and not been able to communicate his pain with me.  He has always been a bit of a whiner, maybe its because he has real pain.  It kind of makes me sick to think about, my baby in pain and my callous reactions because I think he might be spoiled or trying to get attention.  Did I not notice more signs because I have been so consumed with too many children?  Is it possible to have too many children?  The answer to that of course is, no.  My family is exactly as God planned it to be, I have had all my kids exactly as God wanted me to, certainly not how I had planned on having them.  I know deep in my heart that things are going to be OK, that none of this is in my hands, but in the loving hands of my creator.  May God's will be done for my family always.  Thank you for praying for us during this time of questions.  I certainly hope that the answers are, well I guess I am not sure what I hope the answers are.  I just know that tonight I rocked my sweet two year old to sleep (because his brother, who he shares a room with, is sleeping at a friends tonight and Asher missed him "so much") and took in every breath of his sweet hair, cherished every warm breath on my neck, and prayed for him from the depths of my soul; and I would have done that if there was an MRI tomorrow or not.

Christmas filled with "candy-cans" and "no-men"

Now I know that this may be officially the lamest of all Christmas Cards that you recieve this year, and I also know that this is the 3rd year in a row that I have been this lame.  But... I promise next year, real tangable Christmas cards for your mantel (unless I am pregnant or have a new baby, which has been my excuse the last 3 years, and yes I still count 7 months as new especially since she still doesn't sleep through the night :-)

NOW, onto the year...

Last Christmas Asher took his first real steps and now he is a full blown running (actually he gallops wherever he goes which is much much cuter than running), talking, climbing, toy stealing, 2-year-old whose cheeks I cannot kiss enough!  This year DJ turned 3, and is now 3 1/2, and with every day that goes by I watch him mature and grow.  I no longer think that if someone is crying on the playground it was probably DJ who hurt them, if I leave the room it is now Asher that does the troublemaking, and DJ who puts a stop to it.  His favorite movie right now is "How to Train Your Dragon" and we are all viking/knight Dragon Fighters here, all the time!  Sweet Izzy joined our merry band in May and has captured our hearts in a way that before was unimaginable.  Her sweet little smile turns us all into mush and she has us eating out of the palm of her hand.  J turned 30 this year and we celebrated by surprising him with his whole family in Altus for the weekend.  J also completed his masters degree this year which means more family time, and way less stress in our house...to celebrate this, I got him a new video game for Christma,s and that is what you can find him doing now whenever our kids are in bed.  As for me, my life still pretty much consists of babies, and the Air Force, amazing new friends, and friends that I have had to say goodbye to.  I started my own business making Bible and nature inspired baby clothes, and I am thinking about expanding into women's as well, but for now I'm just trying to breath deep and take it all in because the time is already flying by much too fast!

From Our Family to Yours I want to wish you the Merriest of Christmas'

May you always remember that the reason we celebrate this and every Christmas is because on that day nearly 2000 years ago God gave the world the greatest gift of all, His Son, so that we may come to know Him and be saved with life eternal in Heaven.  Thank you God for the amazing gift that not only saves and forgives me, but saves all of us who know you.  May my children spend every Christmas celebrating You in Your Son Jesus Christ.

6 month photo shoot