Tuesday, December 28, 2010


Taking Asher in for an MRI in the morning, we have to leave the house at 4:45am.  This is actually a blessing because he will sleep the 2 hour drive there, and then we will be in the hospital so his mind will not be focused on the fact he is not getting breakfast.  We went a week ago for this MRI and they tried to put him to sleep using an IV, they poked (more like stabbed) him 5 times before I said enough and picked my baby up and got out of there.  By the time we left, Asher was hysterical, I was bawling, and I am pretty sure I saw a nurse crying too.  This MRI, where the sedation will now be given in the form of gas, is to determine the cause of Asher's "headaches." For the past 6 or so months Asher grabs his head and tells me "owie head, mama," it occasionally brings him to tears and causes him to loose his balance.  I wonder how long he has been suffering headaches and not been able to communicate his pain with me.  He has always been a bit of a whiner, maybe its because he has real pain.  It kind of makes me sick to think about, my baby in pain and my callous reactions because I think he might be spoiled or trying to get attention.  Did I not notice more signs because I have been so consumed with too many children?  Is it possible to have too many children?  The answer to that of course is, no.  My family is exactly as God planned it to be, I have had all my kids exactly as God wanted me to, certainly not how I had planned on having them.  I know deep in my heart that things are going to be OK, that none of this is in my hands, but in the loving hands of my creator.  May God's will be done for my family always.  Thank you for praying for us during this time of questions.  I certainly hope that the answers are, well I guess I am not sure what I hope the answers are.  I just know that tonight I rocked my sweet two year old to sleep (because his brother, who he shares a room with, is sleeping at a friends tonight and Asher missed him "so much") and took in every breath of his sweet hair, cherished every warm breath on my neck, and prayed for him from the depths of my soul; and I would have done that if there was an MRI tomorrow or not.

Saturday, December 25, 2010

Christmas filled with "candy-cans" and "no-men"

Now I know that this may be officially the lamest of all Christmas Cards that you recieve this year, and I also know that this is the 3rd year in a row that I have been this lame.  But... I promise next year, real tangable Christmas cards for your mantel (unless I am pregnant or have a new baby, which has been my excuse the last 3 years, and yes I still count 7 months as new especially since she still doesn't sleep through the night :-)

NOW, onto the year...
Last Christmas Asher took his first real steps and now he is a full blown running (actually he gallops wherever he goes which is much much cuter than running), talking, climbing, toy stealing, 2-year-old whose cheeks I cannot kiss enough!  This year DJ turned 3, and is now 3 1/2, and with every day that goes by I watch him mature and grow.  I no longer think that if someone is crying on the playground it was probably DJ who hurt them, if I leave the room it is now Asher that does the troublemaking, and DJ who puts a stop to it.  His favorite movie right now is "How to Train Your Dragon" and we are all viking/knight Dragon Fighters here, all the time!  Sweet Izzy joined our merry band in May and has captured our hearts in a way that before was unimaginable.  Her sweet little smile turns us all into mush and she has us eating out of the palm of her hand.  J turned 30 this year and we celebrated by surprising him with his whole family in Altus for the weekend.  J also completed his masters degree this year which means more family time, and way less stress in our house...to celebrate this, I got him a new video game for Christma,s and that is what you can find him doing now whenever our kids are in bed.  As for me, my life still pretty much consists of babies, and the Air Force, amazing new friends, and friends that I have had to say goodbye to.  I started my own business making Bible and nature inspired baby clothes, and I am thinking about expanding into women's as well, but for now I'm just trying to breath deep and take it all in because the time is already flying by much too fast!

From Our Family to Yours I want to wish you the Merriest of Christmas'
May you always remember that the reason we celebrate this and every Christmas is because on that day nearly 2000 years ago God gave the world the greatest gift of all, His Son, so that we may come to know Him and be saved with life eternal in Heaven.  Thank you God for the amazing gift that not only saves and forgives me, but saves all of us who know you.  May my children spend every Christmas celebrating You in Your Son Jesus Christ.