Friday, July 15, 2011


It is never so obvious to me that my boys are in fact crazy, as when we have family and friends over to visit.  Nobody ever says anything, they don't have to, it's their wide eyed fear as they watch DJ bodyslam Asher off of the couch that speaks volumes.  Or the way they avert their eyes when the boys run into a room in head to toe knight/viking/superhero gear because just the sense of violence to come is so overpowering.  The way visitors all move up to sit on the edge of the couch when Iz is in the room because they know at any moment a brother could come tearing around the corner and take her out.  I am tempted to say, "my boys are ALL boy," or "boys will be boys," or "at least Iz will be a tough little girl,"  but these are all cliche and not at all true.  My boys are something, let's say something "special" and they terrify just about any person who is not around them constantly (like me or J or our dear friends in OK who have come to embrace the epic violence in the Newberry household). 

I recently joined a movement on FB called "21 days of prayer for boys" all about learning to pray scripture for the ones you love, especially the boys in your life, however, I truly learned so much more about my boys.  I learned that their epic violence is not unique, it is not super common, but it is not unique.  I read this blog post and I felt the weight come off of my shoulders...
"when boys are just too much"
strangely enough the author of this blog post is the same author of the "21 days of prayer for boys" apparently she feels my pain.  We are all born selfish, we are born with only thought of ourselves and desire to only do what makes us feel good.  For some of us the desire to please is what makes us feel good so we behave and do as we are told, for others (my boys) we feel good when we are in control, when we lead and are able to do whatever whenever.  Now I can bribe and threaten my boys to get them to behave themselves (and I do) but that only works 75% of the time. It is only when their hearts change that they will have the character and the obedience that I desire for them.  It is only when their hearts change that they can truly love and be great leaders. 

Who can change hearts?  Certainly not little old me, only God can change hearts and so my prayer from now until the day I die is that God softens the hearts of my children.  I am committed to being a living example for my children (although I do mess this part up on a fairly regular basis, I am trying), and I am committed to letting my children be who God has created them to be.  There is a fine line to be walked between letting my kids be who they are in the depths of their souls and making sure that they are socially acceptable human beings in public. 

I am praying every day for the hearts and souls of my children but I also need to remember to pray for myself.  For patience and wisdom, for God to open my eyes to see the things in my children that come from Him and to notice the things that are out of place or wrong.  I wish that all of the people who come to visit could see the things that my kids do when no one is watching.  The way that DJ will lovingly brush the hair out of Iz's eyes.  The way that Asher gives kisses by holding your cheeks in his chubby hands and puckering up so huge you think he might swallow your face.  The unsolicited "I love yous" or the way that they tell me at least six times a day that I am pretty or precious or cute, they also love to tell J that he is "the best daddy in the whole life world contest."  Yes my kids are wild, and violent, but they are also loving and caring.  God entrusted these babies to me just the way they are, and so I will indulge their wild side by slaying dragons and having pillow fight wrestling matches, but I will also show them what is loving and caring.  Most of all I will pray for their little hearts because in the end it is not really me at all that will make them mighty men, it is the All Mighty that will do that job.


Brooke said...

You are a beautiful boy mama :) Inside and out. Thank you for this. I needed the reminder today too friend...we're in this together :)

va_grown said...

LOVE THIS! "There is a fine line to be walked between letting my kids be who they are in the depths of their souls and making sure that they are socially acceptable human beings in public."

It's all about channeling "who they are" into something useful. Channeling their "epic violence" into fearless courage as soldiers or firemen. Channeling their dragon-slaying into a world-conquering work ethic to support their families. Being a boy mom is so challenging--but so rewarding in ways other people will simply never know.

Amber said...

Thank you so much ladies, it means the world!